Lessons

I’m writing this today because as the mother of 3 beautiful, healthy girls, I have made it my mission to teach my girls that one of the most important things in life is being kind to others.   I believe it is our job to teach our children that the world is made up of many different and unique human beings. That the differences in us is what makes us beautiful.  The truth is that children are not born with hate or dislike for others, parents and society starts to teach that.  I think that children by nature are intrigued by differences that they may see in others, but it is our job to explain to them the why and form compassion in them.  An example that I will share with you is one in which I was just being the mother that I am, and yet I left that situation with a bigger conviction that it is important to teach my girls to accept everyone for who they are.  One night, after a long day at a Disney Park, we got on the shuttle back to our hotel room.  As we made our way to the back of the shuttle, we passed a little albinal girl with her mother.   As we sat down,  my oldest, that at the time might have been 10 or 11 years old, turns to me and  says, ” mom, why does that little girl look like that? every time I see a kid like that it scares me, they look scary.” I did not get mad at her because I realized that she had probably bumped into few if any albinal people.  As a child she did not understand why their features were the way they were.  So, I took the time to explain to her that there was nothing to be scared of. The little girl was just like she was, only that because she was albinal (which I explained what that meant) her skin, eyes and color hair were a little different then what she is used to. But that it was no different from blonde or black, blue or brown eyes, and white or black skin. That her being albinal is what made her unique. By the end of our conversation, my daughter understood, apologized to me for what she had said, because with the knowledge she had now about what she feared, she felt bad.  Either way, a few seconds after we were done speaking, there was gentleman sitting in the back that I had not realized was there, he tells me,”hank You.  Confused, I asked him what he was thanking me for.  He explained to me, that the little albinal girl in the front with her mother was his wife and daughter. He went on to tell me that of course the probabilities to having an albino child are very rare but even more rare was the fact that their second daughter came out albino as well. He told me he had heard the entire conversation that I had with my daughter and was so thankful that I had taken the time to explain why his daughter was a little different. He told me that many times he hears kids who make fun of or are scared by his daughter and sees parents who just don’t care. And even less, parents who cared enough to to take the time to explain that differences in people are not a reason of fear, instead a form of uniqueness. Uniquness that makes all of us, US!

I missed you!!!

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Life sometimes keeps you busy and well, you find yourself putting on hold some things you enjoy.  I have missed reading a lot of your posts, although from time to time, I have peeked in a little and read some.

Either way, I think I’m back and can’t wait to catch up on all I’ve missed.

Thank you to those of you who have reached out to let me know I’ve been missed. 🙂

Question Everything

Question Everything! I remind my girls of this every day.  Life is not meant to be lived just believing what is told to us or what we read. The importance of questioning is necessary to guide yourself through this life. So today, remember to look at life beyond black and white. Beyond what is told to us. Question what doesn’t seem to make sense. Happy Friday!

Our Elderly….the forgotten generation

Could it be that a generation, the elderly, which was held in such high regards in the past, has now, in today’s society been forgotten?  And instead is seen as a hinder or bother to care for our elders?

I ask this question as I ponder the situation that my own grandmother is currently facing.  My grandmother raised six children.  For the most part successful and productive citizens of society.  She helped raise all 13 of her grandchildren and was even strong enough to help in the beginning years of her first great-grandchild. My grandfather died at the age of 30, leaving my grandmother widowed and alone to raise her kids.  She never remarried because as someone whose beliefs are old-fashioned to most of us now a days, she believed that once you widowed, you should not remarry and focus on raising wonderful children.  Which she did.  My mom along with my uncles and aunts are wonderful productive human beings.

Unfortunately, my grandmother suffered a stroke a few years ago which caused her to now become dependent on others.  She can no longer care for herself and this challenge on our family is felt greatly.  Although I am sure that the goal in all our hearts is to make sure she lives out the last years of her life as happy as possible, it seems like no one can come up with a mutual understanding on how or where she should do that.  At times it seems as though my grandmother is a bother to those children and grandchildren that she has raised.  They will all say she is not, but actions speak louder than words.  Those actions have left my grandmother at times to feel alone, sad, confused and probably even depressed.  My grandmother’s biggest fear is to end up in a home where she will be forgotten.  I am sure that will never happen, but sometimes I’m left to wonder.  Through the years we have all attempted to help, but I wonder if it’s ever really been enough.

This leaves me to think about the elders who have less than my grandmother.  Who have no children, husband or family.  When my grandmother was in the rehab center after her stroke, I saw many elders who never seemed to have any visitors.  Didn’t matter what time I would show up.   Sad thing is that there were some who did have family, but would never be visited by them.  How confusing, hurt or sad must that be for them.  It hurts me to see that we have forgotten our duties to our elders who did so much for us.  Our elders have shaped us and are a big part of who we are today.  Gratitude by being there for them is the very least that we can do.

I do understand that with husbands, wives, children, work, and so on…we get busy, but it’s our obligation to make room for our parents, grandparents, great grandparents, even those elderly neighbors that need us to make sure that the remaining years of their lives are spent with dignity, laughter and comfort.  It’s a circle of life….Our parents cared for us when we were born, they probably help raise our children when we were adults, and then comes the  time when we must care for them.  We will one day be those elders, and we can only hope that we’re not part of the forgotten elders.

My hope is that as a family of  6 children, 13 grandchildren and almost 19 great-grandchildren we find a way to come together and care for my grandmother the ways she deserves, before it’s too late, and all we have left is feelings of guilt for not doing so.

Our elders should never be left to feel unwanted or as if they are a bother.  Unfortunately, more times than not, that is exactly how they feel in today’s society.  Some left alone to die, imagine the fear and sorrow their hearts must feel….some will have a room full of people awaiting their death but never were really there to make the last moments memorable.   My hope for society is that we start to recognize where we have fallen short with elders and fix it.